When you see a photo of a mumma cat feeding a stray piglet with its teat, you sigh and are happy that animals can be so selfless and amazing towards each other…
BUT WHY DON’T I FEEL THAT WAY WHEN I SEE THIS?!
“People might say I’m a freak, but having Spider suckle on my boob means I finally feel complete and a better mother.”
Unless that is the talking dog from Men In Black, then no way should that dog be feeding like that…. I wonder what kind of issues her kids will have later on in life?
This is nuts.
Today I was casually working out how much Child Support the Government recommends that Hunter’s Daddy pays us each week (only due to the fact that this HAS to be done as required by the Government, if it was up to us we would just high five and split everything Hunter related no worries!) So I was quite shocked when the online estimator told me that he is only required to legally pay $30 a week. The lady who I spoke to on the phone from Child Services mentioned that number is only a minimum money requirement from the father and that 90% of Child Support cases have their own monetary arrangements, my heart broke when I thought about the other 10% of single Mummas out there who must be doing it tough trying to pay AND provide the added extras for their kids. However at the same time I was pleased to hear that 90% of awesome Dads know that the minimum requirement is only such a small part of what needs to be paid for.
Without the Baby-Daddy’s monetary support, there is no way that I could afford all the things in Hunter’s life that make it extra special. There wouldn’t be any swimming lessons, or books, new clothes for Hunter every month (the kid seriously out grows at a rapid rate.), plus we would have to move house and sell the car. Although I would take it all in my stride and do what I could to make ends meet, life would be very different indeed. It has made me realise that I am so grateful for everything, and happy that Hunter is number 1 priority for the both of us.
Pretty sure that when I am asleep at night Hunter gets out of bed and watches the Twilight movies, because out of nowhere she has begun biting me and I can’t think of any other logical reason on why she would find so much constant joy out of hurting me so much…? All jokes aside I have no idea what to do about it. It will be just after a breastfeed or at night before bed, she gets an evil look in her eye, turns vampish and latches onto my arms, chest or stomach. The little teeth marks are visible for days and I look like a purple and green pin cushion. Ugh, why do you wanna hurt your Mumma?!
In the beginning I would just brush it off as her test driving her new teeth and that she was a baby and has no idea what she is doing, but now I can see in her face that she knows full well what she is doing. Every time she bites me she stares at my face to see the reaction, so if this is some kind of baby power play then kiddo, you have to realise you won this war when I popped you out 11 months ago!
I screw up my face and say “OWWW” really loudly, then in a cross voice tell her that she is not allowed to bite Mummy. This is the only time I get angry and try to show her that it’s not ok. She starts to cry and after a minute will return to bite me. Hmmm… CARLY – 0, KID WITH ONLY 4 TEETH – 1.
I have been writing blog posts and not posting them, for a number of reasons, mainly being that YES! I have been going through some immense change lately and no I do not think that sharing all this info is beneficial for me, my family or you as a reader. I do not want you feeling sorry for me or us as a family, tissues in hand, hoping for us to just ‘work it out’. I do not want you to worry about me or wonder if I am just keeping up a brave front.
I am a single mum. Sounds weird to say. Anyway I’m sure there are people who are going to be ‘risk tisking’ or not believe me when I say this but I AM SO HAPPY!!
No I’m not having a meltdown, and yes I am still completely sane (kinda). This is so different to any other relationship break up that I have had before… it was so easy, and simple. We joked and hugged then laughed about how we were going to tell everyone on Facebook, and how that was going to be the hardest part. Please do not take our easy breakup as a sign that we didn’t agonise over the decision or weigh up what was best for our lives and most importantly Hunter’s.
There was no fighting or screaming, no flinging of furniture or nastiness. Just two adults who respect each other a whole lot, deciding what is best for their precious spawn.
The Baby-Daddy has moved to the other side of the complex and I feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Being on such different life paths made our choice to separate such a no-brainer. I am excited for each of our futures, and the fact that I have no idea what is now in-store for me, yet I feel so content and ecstatic that I have so many possibilities.
So please don’t be sad for us, I wake with a smile on my face every morning and know in my heart just how right this outcome is.
Did you know that Hunter Rose Birth Prints will be having a stall at the next Mummy Mixers event next Wednesday? Yippee!
It will be my first time having a stall anywhere, so I am pretty excited to show off all my custom designed birth prints and collection of cute frames.
There are still tickets available so come along!
If you are super organised then bring along your child’s birthing details on the day to place your order with me, otherwise you can purchase a Gift Voucher.
A custom birth print like the one below will set you back only $30.
Otherwise you can purchase a custom birth print, mat and frame for only $50.
Tickets are still available for the next Mummy Mixers on Wednesday 10th October at Pointbreak Bar & Grill on Burleigh Point. Email email@example.com to purchase your tickets, remember to mention me for your extra ticket!
See you there,
This morning I woke up like this, with Hunter’s big toe wedged in my ear and the other foot kicking my face… OH THE JOYS OF CO-SLEEPING!!
I can’t help but giggle at the photo, my tired face really tells the story of what I am feeling. Not only that but I was laying on a bed that still smelled like vomit from Hunter’s midnight projectile spewing episode.
Seems strawberries before bed were a bad idea… The red stained bed now sits out on the balcony in the fresh air and I hope that the smell is gone by tonight.
Even though waking up to Hunter’s feet at 6am makes me grumble how on earth can you stay annoyed at this little face?!
Sometimes, just sometimes I need to remove the foot from my mouth. It’s big and attached to my ankle so not really something that should be hanging around my face.
Let me explain why…
At the start of the year I was interviewed by Studio Bambini Magazine in relation to my baby already had a ‘Cyber Footprint’ (meaning that she already has an online / social media presence) and how that could affect her later in life. I would like to believe that I was selected to be interviewed because of my witty and fun writing style, plus the fact that it is not at all weird that Hunter will get 100 ‘Likes’ on her Instagram photos… seems I was perfect for the article!
The questions were hard to answer and I ended up filling 3 pages with text (see below for actual questions and answers that I submitted back to the journalist) and as this was all done back in May I have waited around for months to see what the final outcome would be.
Hunter was sitting in the trolley with all the groceries when I picked up Studio Bambini in the Newsagency. On the front cover it said in capital letters “ARE YOU AN OVERSHARENT? Social media do’s and don’ts” Flicking to the article on page 76 called ‘Privacy Please!’ I started to skim over the text and soon realised that I was the ‘over sharing parent’ that was being featured in the article. I felt a lump in my throat and I quickly bought my copy and sat in the car to read it all properly. After the first few paragraphs I realise the seriousness of the story, when is sharing information / photos / videos about your kids too much? I couldn’t help but flinch when I read the line ‘…a disturbing online trend is emerging: revealing way too much. Dubbed ‘Oversharenting’ it seems more mums and dads are struggling to differentiate between what’s fine to post online and what’s inappropriate, unsafe or just plain gross.’ Then it goes onto introduce me, the weirdo Mum who ‘over shares’ on the internet. Oh dear.
I feel that the interview I submitted to them was intelligent and well written, with a small bit of my usual humour thrown in there to break things up. I talked about Peaceful Parenting, how I do think about Hunter’s future and her already online presence, plus how I will feel about her when she is older online. Unfortunately they took my tiny bits of tongue-in-cheek humour and made it look like that is all I stand for. I feel I come across uneducated, stupid and that I think my child’s online safety is a joke.
‘People who know me know that no topic is ever taboo, so there was never a time that I deemed any topic off-limits. I shared every single cramp, weird craving, sexy dream, backache and the fact that I could no longer reach my vagina.’ When I read that line I actually made a YELP! noise out loud. They had sewn together words and parts of other sentences… sure they were my words! But arranged in a way that I feel puts me in a bad-parent light, and as someone who tries so bloody hard to be an amazing parent every second of the day I felt betrayed that I looked like a ditz. I wish I hadn’t talked about my vagina. Oh GOD, I’m an over sharer……!! Maybe the article is a harsh reflection of who I actually are online? Ugh!
The article goes with about 5 paragraphs of my cut and pasted words, then onto discuss child safety online and the reality of how you are exposing your kids to anyone and everyone. They also interview another blogger who is anti-sharing, who goes on to say that it is irresponsible that parents ‘allow their self-serving interests override the fact that some things do not belong on the internet.’
Well played magazine journalist, well played….
Below are the questions and answers from the initial interview (shame they decided not to use more of the good stuff!):
Why did you decide to blog about your pregnancy?
I was already blogging about my life regularly, so when we found out I was pregnant I couldn’t wait to tell everyone we knew about our exciting news! My parents also live interstate, so it was a great way for them to be involved in the daily grind of the pregnancy from far away. Another reason that I didn’t realise until the end of my pregnancy was that it was such a beautiful way to document the whole journey – good and bad!
You say that virtually no topic was off-limits on your blog with your regard to your pregnancy. Did you have any difficulty deciding what you would and would not write about?
People who know me know that no topic is ever taboo, so there was never a time that I deemed any topic off-limits to potential readers eyes. Being pregnant for the very first time is so worrying, confusing and scary, you have no idea what is going on and trawling the internet for answers can be misleading. Anytime I was worried about something, or needed advice, I would post it on my blog and within half an hour I would have all these tips, advice and handy tricks only other Mums could know. Seems majority of pregnant ladies all go through the same thing, so it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone at 3am when the peanut was keeping me awake doing Gymnastics.
Is there anything you wrote about that, in hindsight, you wish you hadn’t? And vice versa: anything you didn’t write about that you wish you had?
I actually wish I had taken more photos of myself pregnant; the writing came so easily due to being hormonal, it was a fantastic release of raw emotion. There were a few tears spilled whilst typing away at my desk! In saying that maybe I didn’t need to go into so much detail in the blog about my labour, however I feel like I’m cheating myself if I don’t re-tell a story exactly like how it happens. When I read it back now 6 months later, I feel like I captured every moment in honest entirety, but can’t help but wonder how many people are cringing or spitting out their breakfast while reading it!
You mention that you worry your Instagram followers will grow tired of seeing photos of Hunter. Does this concern affect what or how frequently you post?
Before having Hunter my Instagram was filled of photos of the food I was eating, my partner and I pulling faces and places I had traveled to. Now every single photo is of Hunter Rose, I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m slightly obsessed. I do stop to wonder if all my followers get sick of the twice (sometimes more) daily baby instagram photos, yet I am gaining female followers at an alarming rate (up to 725 now, however pretty sure all the males unfollowed at the first sign of a baby!) so I figure that if anyone was really over the constant photographic cuteness then it’s easy enough to unfollow.
What sort of responses have you had from readers of your blog? Has it all been positive?
I receive nothing but guidance, encouragement and support on my blog. As I like to see myself as a ‘Peaceful Parent’, I do get the odd comment of shock and horror in regards to the fact that we co-sleep and don’t believe in letting Hunter cry it out. What’s surprising is that I now receive emails daily from pregnant or new mums wanting advice or someone to chat to. I don’t at all claim to be a parenting expert as I myself are still finding my ‘Mummy’ feet, however I think due to my honesty in my writing on my blog I think Mums feel comfort in knowing that someone else has gone through what they are.
Do you think there are any topics parents should not post or write about with regards to their kids?
While Hunter Rose is still developing her personality and own sense of self, I feel it 100% ok to be writing about her and our lives in the public domain. Once she becomes her own independent person with ideals, friends and own opinions then I will of course limit what I write about, as I have to take into consideration that I am writing on behalf of someone who could have entirely different views and beliefs about their life out in the open.
When your child is of school age I do think parents need to censor what topics they want to post about online, you don’t want to put your child through the trauma of blogging about bedwetting or other embarrassing issues that could have serious repercussions.
More and more parents are sharing the intimate details of their pregnancies and day-to-day parenting experience online these days. Why do you think this is? Is it just a natural extension of the ‘social media revolution’?
For me there was a point where I made a conscious decision to blog about being a new mum, mainly because I didn’t know any other Mums and wanted to connect with other people going through the same exciting stage of life. Within a few months I had a strong online support network through Facebook and my blog of Mums from capital cities and rural locations all throughout Australia. With many households having two parents working or multiple kids to look after, many don’t have the time or resources to be going to Mums Groups. Swapping your own pregnancy or parenting experiences with others through various social media outlets, I believe makes for a positive connection (help me end this sentence!!)
You mention that you’ll keep writing about and posting pictures of Hunter until she asks you to stop. What impact, if any, do you think blogging about Hunter will have on Hunter and your relationship with her down the track?
Blogging about hunter is definitely circumstantial to her age, I really can’t see myself writing about her constantly once she is school age, and by then she is most likely going to have a little baby brother or sister to steal away the blogging limelight. So in saying that I think it’s a really precious keepsake for her in the future, from pregnancy, birth, her first laugh, words and steps, with also us as parents trying to find out way. These are experiences and stories that maybe she can reflect upon with having her own kids one day.
Will you feel comfortable allowing Hunter to write a blog or use Facebook/Twitter/Instagram as she grows up? What ground rules, if any, do you think you’ll put in place?
As much as social media is a massive part of my everyday life, I am reluctant to let Hunter delve into what can be a scary cyber world. Of course she will be educated in online safety, however only so much can be done to help curb cyber bullying, online predators and just generally keeping track of what young ones are up to (I remember all too well what it was like to be a kid with the internet). We are a very tech-savvy family, so I am not going to say no to social media as I think it’s a very important education and networking tool however I don’t believe there is any use for social media for any child before highschool. After that time I can foresee that computer time will be spent in the lounge room and we will have access to all her social medias and controlled ‘online’ times.
What advice would you give other mums with regard to their kids’ online presence?
Always keep in mind that once you put your family’s life out into the world it is hard to take it back, and that there might be a point in time that your child may not be happy with the fact that their life is being broadcasted around for anyone to see. Once they are a little older, keep an open communication and ask permission to write or post photos.
…are the worst things to do.
Plus when you decide that we can just do the move with a ute and about 12 car trips – forgetting that at least one of you needs to be playing with Hunter at all times, you realise that time and money would be better spent hiring a truck with two muscle men to move it all in half a day. By Day number 3 we were still moving stuff, and my head felt like it was going to explode on our new walls. EXHAUSTED! One week later and I am only just recovering, the internet is connected, the pantry is full and majority of things now have a place – Hallelujah!!
The move couldn’t have come at a better time, our tiny unit was no longer cutting it with us constantly frustrated at the lack of room and how much space Hunter actually takes up. For one small kid she really likes to spread out. That was good enough excuse as any to pack up our stuff and head for a house. Our new place is only 2 years old and a total breath of fresh air, out the back there is a lake with Swans and Ducks which is really nice to stare at all day long.
Good-bye old, really small unit…!! We had some fun times.
Hello view from the upstairs balcony! Lovely to see you
Received a letter in the mail from Tweed Hospital yesterday stating that Hunter has been added to the waiting list for her bowel biopsy, and that the wait is only FOUR MONTHS.
ARGH!! gfudioavgjdf vhadfiuobgdfui vhufidoa hvdfijsog vfhuaibgufiadgv nbjfodapguvidflagfud!! (sorry that was to stop me from typing naughty words.)
I quickly realised that was the waiting time just to have the biopsy, not for them to determine what is wrong or book her in for any other operations that she will most likely have, so theoretically it could be a year before we reach the finish line. The thought of putting Hunter through constant suppositories, plus having her with bowel discomfort for the next year makes my stomach turn. There is absolutely no way we can stay on the waiting list and once we move house will go Private instead where the wait time will be only a week or two.