SMACKING YOUR CHILD.
I feel I need to write this post due to the very opinionated, fiery and divided conversation that is happening on my Mumma Electric Facebook page at the moment.
Today I was walking through Tweed City Shopping Centre and a few meters ahead of me was a screaming little boy about 7 – 10 months old in his pram being pushed by a young and very flustered Mum. She stopped the pram abruptly and the baby still screaming threw his dummy out the pram, she swooped up the dummy and proceeded to smack the baby a few times on his thighs with considerable force. Gasping I walked past her very quickly absolutely horrified that such a young baby could do anything that would warrant being smacked like that.
I myself was a child who was occasionally smacked when I played up (sorry Mum for telling the world) and I do not feel like it did anything for me discipline wise, apart from having a fear instilled in me of being hit. To this day I avoid conflict and once in a confrontational situation I have an instant fear of being the victim of abuse. This I directly relate back to being smacked as a child, as back then corporal punishment was the ‘norm’ and not even a big issue to parents. Due to my experiences I believe that there is no room for any type of violence in family situations. I would never dream of hitting my partner, and if he hit me then I would most likely leave! So why on earth is it ok to hit a child?! It blows my mind that people think there is even a difference between the two.
Suddenly there is a generation or two of ‘Anti-Smacking’ parents – WHY IS THIS?
My thoughts are that many others, just like myself, who know first hand (no pun intended) that being disciplined by smacking does absolutely NOTHING towards teaching respect, rules and boundaries. Please feel free to enlighten me with psychological studies, actual facts and proven stats on how smacking benefits a child, just saying that ‘it does’ isn’t an educated enough answer for me, sorry! I plan to teach Hunter the before mentioned respect, rules and discipline with words… anyone with half a brain knows that the pen is mightier than the sword.
To see the full conversation visit the Mumma Electric Facebook page HERE and join in the conversation with your views.
I had the same experience of occasional smacks and it did frighten me and instil fear within me. I will never smack sonny because he deserves to feel safe and loved and treated with respect as does everyone else. He is a happy beautiful child and to make him scared of me would break my heart and solve nothing, only make more problems. Smacking says more about the patent than the child. Xxxxx
I have been smacked twice in my life and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. So yeh, I am anti smacker.
As Herbie growing I’m getting very interested in different techniques that help mummas to cope with “behavioral problems” of their kids, so it would be nice to have a discussion one day with more experienced mums that have similar views… Because there are ways other than smacking
hey ladies…. i came witg peace.
I was totallt anti-smacking before I had a 2 and a bit year old that was avout to fall on her head from a height. I was trying feed my 4 week old… I was exhausted frim being pregnant chasing a year old aroubd and looking back I realise I was most likely battling a mild case of PND. I was alone in a parent room in Myer at Pacific Fair. I remember the shock I had. I was embarassed and couldn’t believe what just happened. “I just abused my baby girl”… Tears rolled down my face…
I was smacked as a child too. I’ve never thought about the fact that it might have impacted how I deal with confrontational situations but like you, I avoid them at all costs. Perhaps there is a link.
I certainly agree it didn’t teach me to respect my father or mother (even though I do). They smacked out of frustration and anger. I do not want to do the same. The way I see it is whenever I want to smack my child (and there are times that I do because I am so frustrated and frankly, angry) is the exact time I should absolutely not smack them. To do so only teaches Lachlan that mummy can’t control her emotions and lashes out. I want him to learn to deal with negative emotions and situations in a positive way.
I also want him to learn to do the right thing for the right reasons, not because he is afraid of me.