The last time I had my period I was a totally different person, I was a nightclub host, freelance designer and worked in a shoe store. I probably would have even laughed at you if you had told me it was the last period that I was going to have for over a year and a half. Not having a menstrual cycle is kind of like being on holiday from yourself, not having to worry about when it was going to arrive, the PMS, cramps, the hormones, trying to find where you stashed your last tampon in your handbag – or was that the bathroom?
Things have been pretty sweet without it, life has been good so I shouldn’t really be wishing it back…. so why am I?
This might sound weird, but I enjoy having my period, well not exactly HAVING it, but the way it makes me feel… I feel womanly, healthy and alive like my body has this big purpose that is already mapped out and controlled by the Moon Gods. I have always felt very in touch with my sexuality, plus listening to my body, understanding what it is telling me and how I feel about it – all of those things combined is what I call my ‘Woman-hood’.
I have always associated my menstrual cycle with:
How I am feeling - Happy with a spring in my step or tired with a short fuse.
What I am thinking - Work-a-holic or social butterfly.
What I feel like eating - The bag of chips VS. the salad.
Men I am attracted to - The big and hairy or small and clean cut.
Sexuality - When my libido is ranging like a pimple faced teen or when I would rather roll over and catch up on ‘….ZZZZzzz’ instead.
What I wear - Boys clothes or something more pretty!
Taking all that information I can tell you on what day of my cycle that the above is most likely to happen. For example: Day 10 will mean tighter clothes, makeup, salads, fruit, excitement, social events and a high sex drive, whereas Day 21 will usually start to mean high sugar foods, comfy clothes, couch and movies, no makeup, laziness and quiet time. Told you I was in tune with my Woman-hood!
The last time I searched around for a tampon was January 2011 – yep THAT long ago! I fully understand that it probably won’t come back until Hunter is about 1-year-old due to demand feeding (could even be early 2013!!), but I worry that not having a menstrual cycle is effecting my normal body-rhythm more than I previously thought. The lack of libido, plus emotional smooth sailing is making me feel like I no longer know who I am… I feel…. well, happy but BORING and hugely unsexy. The more I think about it, the more I am absolutely fascinated as to how the human body works, when you strip everything back and just look at a Woman as a female animal species it all seems to make sense, generally when a woman is about to ovulate she has a higher sex drive and is more attracted to the opposite of sex.
Biology 101… so if I am not having a menstrual cycle where does that leave me?
I just want to ovulate, for my body to kick into gear, to have a mood swing or two and to feel like a real woman again!